College Essays (Not Really)

Yup, it's that time of the year. Every where you look, you'll see high school senior with bags under their eyes, uncombed hair, and, yes, their millions of drafts for college essays. Have you guessed what I'm going to write about yet? (You're probably wrong)

Right now I'm in the middle of writing one of my essays and as I was writing, I stopped. Why? Well, I'll tell you now. I stopped writing because what I was writing was simply great. It was probably one of my bests works yet. And that's why I couldn't go on. It was too much. There's was too much of myself in that essay and if I rarely give myself away to my close friends and family, why would I for some stranger? Maybe that's why I can't keep this blog going...I know I'll leave for months and come back apologizing for being gone, but then leave once more. I started this blog as a sort of online journal and since I love writing, I thought it was a great idea, I just always forget what I'm afraid of. When you write something down, it becomes real. Like with these essays, they all want you to be personal, so that colleges find something in you that they don't see in anyone else, something that makes you different. I can't express myself in that way. To anyone. I don't know why. And I'm afraid I never will... And now I'm lying, not only to you, but to myself. I know exactly why or at least I think I do. Pride. I can't show vulnerability. Why would anyone want to? Why would anyone want to undress themselves in front of someone only to show them their scars and weaknesses? I have heard the saying before that "its better to feel pain than not to feel anything at all". I've felt both and I'm not lenient to either if I'm being real honest. I'm not saying I'm made out of stone either. I think the "people can't break your heart if they think you don't have one" thing is bizarre. I'm not a robot. I've hurt and I don't want to hurt again. It's as simple as that.

Told you, this is kind of like an online journal so if anyone does read or if nobody does, it doesn't matter. My life doesn't have to affect yours.

Life's a Little Messy

Hey guys! So I really don't know what to say about my absence in the last 3 months or so.. Remember when I said I didn't want school to start? Yeah, well it was all with good reason and I was right. I get about 4-5 hours of sleep each night (if I'm lucky), every time I get home I have a pile of homework to look forward to, and I'm expected to study for tests I have every other day. That's not even including the time I spend after school for clubs or trying to finish projects at the library and how often I try to go to the gym. I don't know who decided that the teenage years were going to be the most stressful, but that was not cool at all.

High school has always been portrayed as "the best years of your life" and I don't doubt that they will be (I hope), but as time goes on, academics seems to be evolving. Tests are being taken virtually, teachers find it easier if a PowerPoint did the teaching for them, and the very nature of "hands on" learning has lost all meaning. I love high school, I really do; however, I'm sick of feeling obligated to stay up every night because the thought of failing one or all of my classes terrifies me.

On a more personal level, if you think of a teenagers life, you'd think "Oh, they have it easy. They go to school, hang out with their friends, and eat what they want." No.. If those truly are the existing thoughts inhabiting our parents and  the adults in our lives then they are unaware of the changes occurring in the academic system. We go to school at 7 AM, earlier for those who live far or take the public bus. I wake up at 5 AM everyday to make it to school on time. As for my friends, I only see them in the few classes I share with them, keep in mind that we are always penalized for so much as whispering. And the eating? Have you people heard the news on child obesity? The days when kids could eat whatever they want and not gain an ounce are long gone.

Another topic people don't think about, as idiotic as it sounds, is teenage love. I know most times it's just a fling. Nothing more than two people dating each other just because. But sometimes.. sometimes people do find their love in high school or at least they think they do. That feeling alone can eat someone alive. Imagine having to deal with all the homework, tests, extracurricular activities and the heart-breaking, gut-wrenching feeling of having someone mean the world to you. That's the scariest feeling ever and if adults can't handle it, what makes you think a bunch of 16 year olds can? It's mind boggling, really.

This post wasn't suppose to be so extensively focused on the insanity that is my opinion on the life I currently live, but I guess it just got away from me. I'm just destroyed because all of the things I mentioned apply to me in some way but better to write about it than to lose my sanity in public, right? EH. I hope so. So yeah.. life is just a little messy.

Au revoir!

Au revoir! by malenastyles featuring aviator sunglasses

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My Top Ten Shows

Hello everyone! So ever since Netflix came to be I have watched more shows the past year than my whole life put together. I decided to share the shows that, in my opinion, are superior in plot line, characters, and overall production. Let's get started!

10. Heroes

Heroes is one of those shows that just make you feel what the characters are feeling. Its a shame that it got cancelled after just 4 seasons considering the fact that it was getting so much better. (WARNING: Watch at your own risk. I'm only stating this because when you get to the conclusion less ending you will die a little inside as did I.)

9. Louie

Oh my god! I love this show so much. If you love to laugh, I suggest you watch this. I always watched Louis C.K. doing stand up comedy so when I started watching his show, I was a bit concerned as to how this was going to go down. It can hit you as odd when you first start to watch it but wow, I'm so glad I did, it's hilarious and has a theme song that will be stuck in your head for days even if it does consist of only one word.

8. Battlestar Galactica

Dude, this show is awesome! The beginning starts off slow but something always happens that makes it impossible to looks away. My friend had recommended this show to me and I was skeptical about it at first but the plot was too good to not watch and the ending! Oh my god, the ending! I'm telling you, great show.

7. The Vampire Diaries

Now, if you watch The Vampire Diaries and you are all caught up, I know, I know. He'll be back, he has to be back. If you don't watch it, ignore that. Wow, I remember when I started watching this. I had started because I was just insanely bored and after the whole Twilight fiasco, I had thought that this show was sort of dumb so I was going to watch it to see what all the fuss was about and then I ended up watching the whole thing and getting caught up with episodes that were on air. The most recent season (season 5) was awesome and the finale was heartbreaking. I am a Stelena shipper people, but I still love Damon.

6. How I Met Your Mother

I'm serious right now, do not mention this show in front of me ever. I love this show so much, I'm so serious right now. I spent hours and hours watching this almost everyday and now that it had its series finale and its all over, I'm emotional every time I see it. THAT is how good and funny this show was. Nine seasons of awesomeness. It really is LEGEN- wait for it..- DARY! Yeah, that just happened.

5. Breaking Bad

Ah, yes! The classic, popular show Breaking Bad. What can I say? Everything that could ever be said about this show has already been made public. It really is an addicting show (hehe, see what I did there?) and the ending... damn, I'm really trying not to spoil anything for anyone who might be reading this, but the ending is the best/worst part, in my opinion. I am also a sucker for Jesse Pinkman.

4. Sherlock

The classic tale of Sherlock Holmes by Arthur Conan Doyle. Benedict Cumberbatch fits the role of Sherlock so well, it's perfect. I'll have you know that so far there are only 3 seasons of Sherlock and each season contains 3 episodes. Don't pout though because each episode is about two hours so each time you watch, its like you're watching a movie. This show really is mind blowing, like you will not comprehend what is happening until Sherlock explains it to you, maybe not even then, but that's what makes it so popular. It makes you think and it gets you interested and that is what I admire most about it. Amazing show!

3. Arrow

Green Arrow! One of DC Universes superheroes. Oliver Queen, the other billionaire super powerless hero (just saying cause, you know, Batman isn't the only one), is Green Arrow and this show follows his story as he saves Starling City! I am so glad they made a show about Green Arrow because it is so good! The plot and cause-and-effects will blow you away. If you don't already know this about me, I am a geek when it comes to the superhero department. DC, Marvel, Capcom, etc. I saw The CW produce 'Smallville" which was a show based on Superman when I was small and I got thrilled when The CW begun making more DC shows like Arrow, Gotham(not CW but still), and now coming this fall, The Flash! I'm so excited, I'm positive it is going to be awesome!

2. Doctor Who

(I'm sorry, Peter Capaldi not pictured)

Yay! The show that has been around for more than 50 years now! What can I say about this show? It's unlike any other, that's for sure. It's the best show-watching experience ever! Trust me. Don't ever get too attached to the character though, don't do it! All the Doctors regenerate and all the companions leave in one way or the other :( They come back sometimes, don't doubt that, but they don't stay and you get to enjoy those moments with them there but they always seem like they didn't last long enough. I'm just telling you this, but either way you will love this show so much, you'll dream of the Doctor finding you and time-travelling in his tardis.

And here's number one.....

1. Supernatural

This is my number one all-time favorite show! Supernatural is now going into it's tenth season and I cannot be anymore prouder and happier. It's such a great story and you never know what to expect. I love this show with a passion and the actors are just great bonuses. I will forever love this show and I know some might not agree with my number one or the rankings in general but that's how I see them and give this show a try. If it disappoints let me know, I really doubt it.

So that's it. There's a lot of other shows I wanted to mention that didn't really make the cut. For example, there was My Mad Fat Diary, Prison Break, American Horror Story, One Tree Hill, Teen Wolf, and Freaks and Geeks which I just finished yesterday and had me throwing pillows everywhere because I didn't know they had cancelled it before I started watching it. These are all great shows and trust me, there are so many more. I hope you guys enjoyed this post and please comment your favorite shows or if you like any of these. I would love to know :)

Topshop Wishlist

Topshop Wishlist by malenastyles on polyvore.com

This is anything and everything I've ever wanted from Topshop. Some items are missing but the list is long enough. The heart wants what the heart wants and my heart has an expensive taste. Let me know what you think and if you like anything you see! If so, you have good taste :)
Also, I might be on A LOT on weekends and barely on on weekdays because of work so just letting you guys know. Have an amazing day!

June Playlist!

I know it's a bit early for the June Playlist since it's only the midde of June but I've been listening to music so much lately, I wanted to share some of this months favorites as soon as possible. Enjoy! :)

One Week Later...

Well, its a week later. My first full week of work has been very hectic and packed. I've never been happier about Saturdays before. Don't get me wrong though, I love my job. You see, I work at City Hall. I do basic office stuff, such as, pick up phones, attend meetings, schedule meetings, call other districts, discuss things going on in the city and so on. It sounds boring but I can assure you it isn't, it's actually very fascinating because of all the different people I come in contact with. There's the people that genuinely care about our community and want to make a change and there are others that act as if they grew up in a place where common ethical behavior ceased to exist, but we learn to cope with them and usually nod our heads until they go away. Everyday is different and I have lovely co-workers, I don't think it could get any better... until I get my paycheck, that is. So, as I said before, I'm on my way to a perfect summer and I'm excited. I plan to do things better, you know? Be better.

Tomorrow is Father's Day and I will be watching the World Cup with mine. GO ARGENTINA!!!

I wanna wish a Happy Father's Day to every one's dad because without my dad, I'm 100% certain I would not be the person I am today. Hope everyone has fun and have an amazing day :)
~If you ever want to know more then check out my Instagram or Twitter where I mostly update on my life~